Happy Target

I saw this when I was on the way home one day. Of late there have been quite a few "energy enhancement" remedies being advertised all around residential areas but I must say this advertisement certainly conveys the message very clearly. It doesn't take one to understand the written language very well to know what they are selling. So to me that's one effective creative advert.

All you need to do is to stare at the targets and the respective arrows to figure it out. For the benefit of those innocent minds, it's solely for men and "sebelum" = before "selepas" = after. But you knew that right? :)

Marriage Fights

I guess when you've been married for a while, it doesn't take much to start a fight. Take for example some of the "asking for it" fights below :



After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to
apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for
my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and
realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was
very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened
my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair
on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social
Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my
experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You
might have gotten disability, too.'

And then the fight started...




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--------- --------- -----



My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school
reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as
she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend.
I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many
years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...




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--------- --------- -----

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some
reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare,
please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad
cow?""

Nah, she can order for herself."

And then the fight started...

The Female Meaning of 'Go Forth and Multiply'

Someone sent me this today describing the female's great ability to do more with what she is given. I believe most married men will agreed. My hubbs certainly does! Well, maybe not the first part, but he sure agrees with the final sentence. He reckons my gift for that is unmatchable :)

"Whatever you give a woman, she's going to multiply. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So - if you give her crap , you will get a bucket full of s**t "

Powderful Engrish

As China prepares for the upcoming Olympic games, the government as well as some ingenious retailers have decided to make their signs more tourist friendly. The results are as follows. Totally hilarious. Wonder how much it would have cost them to get professional translators.




Now, who would willingly accept a strangler's invitation


The poor pool boy will have to take a break


Yes, I'll treasure it and keep it safe. China souvenir.


A challenged buffet.


This is where you meet stranglers


If only our rears are that juicy.


Yes, especially those stranglers



Like they say, it is good to tie up loose ends before dying


Users beware. If you insult it, it will turn around and s*%&w you!!



...cooked with a lot of heart :-)



Pregnant women above 70 should certainly get special treatment. Maybe in the Guiness Book of World Records?



Please don't unless you're into kinky stuff.


Be serious at all times.


Hmm..maybe the books contain a detailed description of what LOTR hobbits do in their spare time?



Yes...especially when in China as not everyone is as tall as you.



Huh?


Yes yes, please market this to all the wives out there. Beats saying "I've got a headache dear".


Oh don't be so harsh on the Chinese.....if we had to translate to mandarin we'll probably get it wrong as well.


Safe for export. Who says China toys are poisonous to American kids ?


Please try to be in trouble if not the poor receptionist will be bored.


Drink and be merry. But refrain from sex after that. You may produce cubs.



Who says you need translation to convey a message. A graphic picture says it all.


Think of the kind slip to execute before slipping. Choose the careful type.

Eyesight test

I saw the above eyesight test on another blog. I'm proud to say that I passed the test with only one look with my surgically corrected eyes. Hmm..so if I have surgically corrected perfect eyesight how do I interprete the results of the test? :) or if my eyes have been surgically corrected and yet my eyesight is not perfect does it mean there's no hope for me? :(

For those unmarried people out there if you are hoping that your 'eyesight' improves after marriage do continue to hope but be warned it may just be a pipe dream :)

Those under age reading this, I hope you fail this eyesight test miserably.